Kenshingumi in the Big City
by kasumi007
Summary: When kyoto is turned into a very modern and urban place, the Kenshingumi are lost in their own town. What are they to do? This fic is full of idiotic hapennings, hope you don't mind...
1. A New Experience

Kenshingumi in the Big City  
  
Disclamer: I do not own any of the characters and places in this fic. They are all owned by its respective owners and stuff.  
  
A/N: I made this fic because of natural boredom during a particular day, so some happenings may be very idiotic. I dedicate this to my friends, more particularly, my closest friends, Yukihime-san and a very avid Kenshin lover Anyways, please R&R ^_^  
  
Summary: When Kyoto is turned into a very modern and urban place, the kenshingumi are lost in their own town. What are they to do? Chapter 1  
  
"Watch out, Yoshi!" Kaoru yelled as her student nearly got hit by a speeding car, grabbing the back of his collar just in time.  
  
Just then, the sign opposite them that showed the 'walk, don't walk' signals turned red, and the kenshingumi, mistaking it for the sign to cross, started to walk. Then chaos erupted. The cars around smashed into each other and a few even burst into flames and exploded. The people in the cars got out and started to shout curses at each other. Some other people on the sidewalks got fire, and one of them, a middle aged man in his mid-thirties starting doing the funky chicken in desperation to get the fire off. "Oro?" said a very puzzled Kenshin, looking around and staring at things happening, but he just shrugged and continued walking with Kaoru, Yoshi, Sanosuke, Megumi, and Soujiro.  
  
"Ne, Sagara-san, why is it that that person is dancing?" Soujiro asked, pointing to the man doing the funky chicken, when they finally got to the other side of the road. "Dancing? I thought it was a ritual for the dead." Sanosuke answered, shrugging. So the gang walked along on the sidewalk, oblivious to the stares and weird glances, obviously because of their clothing, that came from the other late morning shoppers. As they entered a mall, Sanosuke's gigantic Zanbatou hit the top of the doorframe and the destroyed parts fell onto the unlucky citizens behind. But due to Sano's insincerity, he pretended no to hear the squeals of pain from behind him. Luckily, the ceiling of the inside was high, so it didn't hit anything more, though many civilians were nearly and killed and a few booths were destroyed. As they took a turn, they passed by a stor the sold toys for kids, and, out of curiosity, they entered it. Inside, all of them scattered, obviously very interested in the merchandise. Soujiro in particular, was very interested in the array of fake swords and went over to study them. He knelt down in front of them and pulled his katana out to compare them. As he did so, a salesgirl nearby said to him, "Sorry sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to surrender your sword to the guard. Sharp objects and hazardous materials are not allowed inside mall premises."  
  
"Sharp materials?" Soujiro asked innocently. "Oh, you mean this?" He lifted his sword and somehow managed to point the tip directly in front of the salesgirl's neck. At Soujiro's action, the salesgirl backed away several steps, obviously thinking that Soujiro was going to kill her, and ran away screaming like some sort of madwoman. Soujiro scratched his head. "What was that all about?" he said to nobody in particular. He looked down at his katana, shrugged, and put it back in its sheath.  
  
Up at the section where rattles, cribs and the like were sold, Kenshin was having fun studying the items. He was particularly interested in a porcupine shaped rattle and thought that it was extremely familiar to something: Sano's head. He nearly laughed out loud, but he had enough sense not to in a public place, so he just put the rattle back down and walked over to a huge basket overflowing with balls of all shapes and sizes. He picked up the top ball- a technicolored beach ball- and started to bounce all the way around the shop. Unbeknownst to him, he was creating a mess: shattering glass stands, knocking over shelves of many items, and hitting even a few other store patrons, who in turn, cursed at him, and stormed out. Before he knew it, a salesgirl was at his side, saying, "Would you like to buy that ball, sir?" "I would like to, but." Kenshin trailed off, unsure of how to explain that he didn't have money. "You would like to, sir? But how will you be paying for those?" The salesgirl pointed to the havoc Kenshin had wreaked.  
  
"Oro?" was the only thing the red-headed swordsman could say in his time of bafflement. As Soujiro stared around the huge mass of shelves around him, he couldn't help but notice a six and a half foot high model of a robot holding a sword. He went nearer to it and said to himself, "A sword? I thought swords weren't allowed." So he went nearer and said to the robot, "Robot-san, don't you know that swords aren't allowed in here?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Oi, robot-san, didn't you hear what I said? And doesn't standing like that all day make you feet hurt? And why don't you take you heavy armor off, I'm sure that you'll feel better when you do."  
  
Still no answer.  
  
Soujiro knocked the robot, saying, " Being very antisocial isn't very good robot-san, people will think that you're a bad guy." Silence.  
  
"Oh, I forgot. My name's Soujiro, what's yours robot-san?" More silence.  
  
"Anyway, robot-san, since you have a sword and seem to be very good at it, do you mind seeing how I use mine?"  
  
No answer.  
  
Soujiro took the silence as a yes and said, " Ready, robot-san? Here goes!" He made a quick motion with his sword and became puzzled at what he saw. Because in front of him, the head of the robot he had been talking to.fell and rolled off the ground A/N: Please R&R. Don't worry about criticizing, even I do it all the time ^_^And.sorry if the title sounds like 'Babe: Pig in the big city' I just couldn't get a better title^_^ The stuff that Kaoru and Megumi and Yoshi are doing will be said during then next chapter. ^_^ soujiro is just so cute I couldn't help but an extra scene.^_^ 


	2. A Very Unlucky Mall

A/N: To the person who is reading this right now, please do not wonder much about the idiotic happenings, for I myself am an idiotic idiot and a moronic moron. Please R&R^-^!  
  
Chapter 2- A Very Unlucky Mall  
  
Kaoru and Megumi were at the toy store looking at the section that sold kid's clothes. Kaoru particularly liked the very lacy (very lame and pathetic) flashy orange dress with loads of frills and looked like a clown suit.  
  
"What do you think?" she said, holding up the dress.  
  
Megumi shook her head. "Too flashy. But this," she said, holding up a pink denim jumper with a bunny, cat, dog, and rat print, "would look great on Sano."  
  
Kaoru thought about how Sano would look like wearing it. She suddenly had a vision of him walking around in it licking a lollipop and ice cream. The very thought about it could make her puke. It was disgusting. AND she was pretty sure that Sano looked like the rat in the jumper. "Are you sure? Sano? I kind of thought that it would look good on Yoshi."  
  
Megumi thought about her comment for a moment. "You're right. But where is that boy anyway?" She looked around for signs of a certain spiky black head. " That's odd, he was right behind us a few minutes ago."  
  
Yoshi was having fun playing with the fake guns that made loud and disturbing noises. He particularly liked the machine gun that even vibrated continuously. But the problem was, he didn't know they were fake. So he believed that the guns were shooting invisible bullets. When he picked up a pellet gun, which he didn't know it was, he aimed it at the window, and when he pulled the trigger, the tiny bullet shattered the glass, sending some of its shards onto the unlucky customers down the street. Yoshi walked over to the shattered window and looked, surprised to see people cursing and shouting at him. You know, stuff like, "F**k you, you mother f**kin' a**hole! But he just shrugged and decided to go to where Kaoru and Megumi were. But was going to happen, he didn't know.  
  
Kenshin and the salesgirl hadn't moved and inch. The red-haired swordsman was still baffled and didn't know what had happened while the salesgirl continued hovering around asking for his payment. Of course, he didn't want her to know that he didn't have any money, but if the didn't tell her, they'd be stuck there forever. Finally, he made up his mind and said meekly, "I'm very sorry, but I don't have any money, and neither do my friends. Can't you just forget about the mess I made?"  
  
The salesgirl shot him a penetrating glance. "I'm afraid not, Mr..? "Himura. Kenshin Himura," the swordsman answered. "I'm afraid not, Mr. Himura," the salesgirl repeated. "The damage you have caused costs more or less 10,000 worth of merchandise and the only you can pay for it is either to give the right amount or.."  
  
Kenshin hung his head, afraid of what she would say.  
  
"Or..to work for the mall for at least two hours, depending on the exact amount of damage."  
  
"What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Kenshin exclaimed, his eyes popping. "You seem surprised, Mr. Himura. But you didn't think that the things here were for free, did you?"  
  
Kenshin shook his head, but the truth was, he did expect it to be free. He'd thought that, what were malls for if not to give people stuff? Of course, he'd never exactly been in one before, so he only assumed that. But, what would the others say? It would take a lot time, and his friends weren't exactly keen on waiting. But then, he'd have to face the consequences sooner or later.  
  
The salesgirl said, "So.what'll it be, Mr. Himura?"  
  
Kenshin felt himself dizzying, and he couldn't say anything. Suddenly, before he knew it, his eyes had turned into spirals and he fell onto the ground like cold jelly. A/N: Hi everyone. Hope you liked the chapter. Anyway, please R&R! JA NE! 


	3. Making Money

A/N Thanks for the reviews! Even if they're only 7, they are greatly appreciated. Thanks, you guys! Anyways, the happenings here are pretty much the same: The effect of the Kenshingumi's stupidities about the modern city. Please R&R^-^! JA NE^-^! Disclaimer: The usual, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin and stuff like that yada yada yada blah blah blah yak yak yak..  
  
Chapter 3-Making Money  
  
Sanosuke walked toward to where Kaoru and Megumi were. Yoshi as well was there. But he seemed to be refusing to what the girls were telling him to do as he tried to run, but Megumi, whose reflexes were fast, grabbed his sleeve to prevent him from going away. As he neared, he said, "Hi you guys!"  
  
"Hi Sano!" Yoshi said weakly, his voice somehow smaller than usual. He sounded like he had tonsillitis or something. But in Sano's opinion, he sounded like a person with a cockroach and a lizard down his throat.  
  
"What are you guys doing?" Sano asked curiously.  
  
Yoshi answered, " Trying to get out of a death sentence!" He said this while running steadily in place, as Megumi still hadn't let go of him. "Oh." Sano answered slowly. "No really, what are you doing?" "Okay, okay, we'll tell you." Kaoru answered. "We wanted Yoshi here to wear this for us." She held up the disgusting orange dress. The mere sight of it made Sano want to puke. He quickly towards the window, punched it, and threw up. Unfortunately, there were loads of people below because it was the bus stop. They looked up, covered in disgusting, smelly, grimy, dirty, sickly green barf, and saw Sano, who, unthankfully, still hadn't stopped barfing. Most of them, who fortunately had glasses, wiped the barf of them, giving them a clear view of Sano. They quickly picked up rocks and stones off the pavement and threw them at Sano, who was trying hard to avoid them.  
  
Meanwhile, the girls have taken over Yoshi and had bullied him into wear the disgusting orange dress at last. Yoshi looked at the full-length mirror and almost fainted. He looked like a girl! An obviously gay looking girl no less. Angered by his reflection, he stomped over to where the two girls were standing and started to shout, "For your information, I am not a girl and will not wear a dress-"  
  
"You just did, Yoshi," Megumi interrupted.  
  
Yoshi struggled to come up with a retort. After a pause, he shouted again, "Well, maybe I did! But that DOESN'T mean that I will do it again! I am not just a mannequin to be played with you two!"  
  
Kaoru and Megumi looked at each other in surprise for Yoshi's sudden outburst. But they didn't say anything; they expected to hear more shouting, or even the sound of Yoshi storming off. But there was no more shouting or storming off, except they heard..laughter?  
  
They looked around, surprised to see a crowd of people around them, clapping, laughing, pointing to Yoshi in his ridiculous getup, and throwing money. They thought they were performers! Even though the girls were pretty happy about this, Yoshi was still fuming, glaring at the girls and the crowd.  
  
Megumi looked around and thought of an idea, she quickly whispered it to Kaoru. She quickly agreed. "Hey, Yoshi!" she said. " How would you feel if you wore this?" She held up the pink jumper with bunny, cat, dog, and rat print. Yoshi quickly declined. "No way, you too. And how do I know it's not for girls?" he said stubbornly.  
  
"Come on Yoshi," Kaoru urged. "Think of how much money we'll make, and if we get enough, I might even take you guys out for steak."  
  
Yoshi thought about her words for a moment. At first, his mind said no, but he thought of food quickly made it into a yes, Finally making up his mind, he said, "I'll do it, but if we don't get enough for steak, you two will get to be my servants for a week, understand?"  
  
Kaoru and Megumi nodded.  
  
Yoshi quickly changed into the jumper and looked like an undergrown circus clown. Even Kaoru and Megumi couldn't help but to put their hands over their mouths in their attempt to keep themselves from laughing.  
  
Megumi said, "Kaoru, I told you the jumper would look better,"  
  
Kaoru disagreed. "It does not. The orange dress looks way better." Suddenly one of the kids in the crowd said, "No old lady. The jumper looks better!" The supposed mother of the kid joined in, "NO! The orange dress IS better!" Soon enough, most of the crowd had joined in, and Megumi and Kaoru got into a violent catfight (You know, the one in which the characters get enclosed on a cloud of smoke and people see body parts coming out?). Yoshi stared at the scene in front of him. He thought, 'Oh my gosh...', scratching his head. Soujiro was still talking to 'robot-san' as time passed.  
  
"Robot-san, you're head just came off, aren't you going to put it back on?" Silence.  
  
"Robot-san, why are you so quiet, and don't you know it's bad to stay pensive all the times?"  
  
More silence (Of course, what did you expect?). And finally, when will Soujiro know that he's talking to a robot?????? A/N: Hey minna-san! Hope you liked it, Anyways, please R&R! I'm desperate-well, not really-for reviews. JA NE!^-^ 


End file.
